Marriage Equality = National Pride: You don’t get to vote on my love

Us equal sign

In 1999, I became part of a group of men who contributed to writing a book called When Love Lasts Forever. It was a collection of stories about the lives of gay male couples who had been together in a loving relationship for over 10 years.

We did it in part because, to many of us, even that long ago the dye had been cast. Marriage IN-equality was on its way out. Sadly, it has taken a while to get to the point where everyone seems set on the inevitability of Marriage Equality, but at least much of the ugliness will end.

Only my take is not entirely so gung-ho positive: America can do better. marriage equality for all

Having states decide, by vote or otherwise, the appropriateness of my loving, caring, committed relationship is its own kind of abuse. Americans should say we have lived through the pain and stupidity of our own blindness and gotten to the point where we can proclaim, in a united way, that Marriage Equality is a mirror of national Pride – not a consolation prize for getting around to living our out principles.

To me, no matter how good your intentions, you don’t get to vote on my love or my marriage. We have done just this and played many other ignorance-based games of denial for much too long of a time, but that, to me, is just a façade of appeasement. People did and more would have gotten hurt had we not gone alone with this game of closetedness, but that was a veil of convenience and protection.

Now that the masses and the woefully uninformed SCOTUS (Supreme Court of the United States) have come to the realization that there is nothing wrong with letting loving people be open about their relationships, we’re all letting go and accepting that progress just has to happen.

But that is not sufficient. It’s time to use the inevitability of Marriage Equality as a symbol of our When Love Lasts Forevercultural pride that we have gotten to the point where love can live together forever. The US shouldn’t be ashamed to admit its past errors and proclaim loudly and proudly (with wedding bells galore!) that equality rules our landscape of freedom and love.

You don’t get to vote on my relationship. As far as I’m concerned, you never did and never will.

America can do even better.


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